Monday, December 31, 2007

New Year's Crossroads

My son and I went outside this morning to shovel just enough so that he could pull the car out and not have to drive over and pack down the three or four inches of white slush that came down last night. I have enough cold weather and snow experience, of a life lived mostly in Central New York, to know that you don’t just drive over that small snow fall in the morning when you leave, just because you know you can and it is not going to slow you down. Unless of course you are eager to do the experiment to find out just how much of an ice base you can create on your driveway, and how many months it will take to get rid of it!!

As I am shoveling this morning, the cold snap of air against my eyes and face in combination with the movement of shoveling brought some gentle tearing to my eyes. Not from exertion or emotion, but a purely physiological response to the elements outside. It reminded me, however, of a lesson I learned many years ago when I stubbed my toe. I had been walking up some steps, and clumsily missed the next step up, and stubbed my toe. The injury was not very significant, but hurt enough to elicit tears. Next thing I knew I found those tears created an opening, and all of a sudden there I sat completely bawling, something between real serious tears, and also laughter. Tears because of the insult to my toe and ego, and also because of all the other things that had been stressful in my life at that point, that should have brought me to tears well before then, all of a sudden found their outlet of explosion. Laughter, at the instantaneous realization of what was happening.

So this morning I did not find myself turning the tears into a major crying fit, but I was surprised at how I felt that familiar opening and the vulnerability that could have easily become more than just gentle tears from moving around outside in the cold and snow. If the right person had been there and offered me ears and attention the tears could easily have become much more real. I quickly understood. The experience of falling into a major puddle from a minor stub of my toe all those years ago was a powerful experience, and it comes back to me easily. Today’s vulnerability I understand as recognition of my being at an important crossroads. It is the eve of the New Year, and floating around in my head are events of the year past and many anticipations of the year to come.

As I will be turning 50, 2008 will offer me an important landmark birthday. The years of studying, and working as a family therapist should finally pay off in the acquisition of a license from New York State, finally!! Did I say Finally?! After spending time and energy seriously panicking about whether I would accumulate the hours I need in the time frame required, it has become evident that this really will happen. For someone who despises test taking, it is an indication of the level of stress those hours were creating, to witness my relief at turning the stress of accumulating hours into relief for having to study for an exam!! And then there are my children, all of their lives and significant anticipations, and of course, my own personal life struggles. Many many places where things seem to be at important crossroads for all 5 of us.

Reflecting back on the year behind me, I am again amazed at how much can happen in a single year. I know too, that some of what will transpire in the year ahead I will easily be able to anticipate, but much of what will come will be unpredictable. Predictable or not, the result of years of striving, or spontaneous events that just seem to come out of nowhere, life offers itself up. The challenge is ours to live it to our best. To step away with a smile, and warm feeling when things fall into place as we like them. To offer our tears when they can help us along. And, to take the time to recognize our need for tears and laughter, listening and being listened to.

Many warm wishes to all for a Happy, Prosperous, Healthy New Year. May you dream ambitious dreams, may you have loved ones around you to witness your dreams, your accomplishments, and your sorrows.


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Syracuse Community Choir Solstice Concert

22nd Annual Winter Solstice Concert: Do Justice, Make Peace
Karen Mihalyi, conductor

Saturday, December 15, 2007 @ 7:00 PM

Price: $10 - $25 sliding scale; children under 12 free

Plymouth Church
232 E. Onondaga St., Syracuse

"Do Justice; Make Peace" is the theme of the Winter Solstice Concert this year. As the season turns chilly and we approach a new year, the choir trumpets an unwavering refrain for change. The languages in which they sing are diverse -- Spanish, Zulu, English, Arabic -- but the call for individual responsibility and action is the common thread. The Syracuse Community Choir is an ever-growing group of children and adults who work to educate each other and the greater community about social and political issues -- focusing on indigenous rights, civil rights, environmental rights, religious acceptance, and inclusion of all people. SCC members are bound together by an interest in music, a desire to work for social justice, and a quest for community.

Monday, December 3, 2007

flyer blurbs

Ok.... the flyer really is much better as a "flyer"... somehow loses it's impact as I try to offer pieces of it in this format. I might just have to enlist one of my tech age kids to help me figure out how to post it on my blog as a flyer!! :

What creates a need for therapy is change, either a desire for change, or a need to adjust to an unexpected change. While navigating your way through change, keeping balance in your daily life can become challenging and problematic. A healthy and satisfying relationship with a therapist will nurture you with patience and compassion through the process.

Change in Motion Healing Arts
The Spa at 500
500 W. Onondaga St.
Syracuse, NY 13204
Donna: 315-885-3057

Change in Motion Healing Arts

Donna Dallal-Ferne

MA, Marriage and Family Therapy

RYT, Yoga Instructor

Licensed Massage Therapist

Donna Dallal-Ferne, MA: Donna entered Syracuse University’s Marriage and Family Therapy program in the fall of 2002. After finishing her internship in February of 2005 at The Center for Living with Loss, associated with Hospice of Central New York, she opened an office and maintained a small private practice on her own for a year. In January of 2006, she began working with Jill Weldum in Weldum Family Therapy Services. In the summer of 2007 Donna moved her practice to The Spa at 500, in downtown Syracuse.
Donna brings to her therapy practice experience as not only a family therapist but also her experience as a massage therapist, and her passion for yoga. Her massage practice solidified and grounded for her the meaning of “mind-body connection” and inspired her to go to graduate school for marriage and family therapy. She also brings to her practice her own personal experience of marriage, divorce, and raising 4 children. Her special areas of interest in family therapy include:
Helping families and individuals through times of loss and grief. Couples therapy, including communication, intimacy, separation and divorce. Gay/lesbian/transgender issues. The struggles of adolescents.
Donna is an Associate member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists and an active member of the local professional organization, CNYAMFT.
In addition to her Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy, Donna is also a Licensed Massage Therapist, and a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance.

Change in Motion Healing Arts offers family, couple and individual services. The office includes play facilities for children and families.
CIMHA also offers massage, and has space for private yoga sessions with individuals, couples, or small family groups.

A massage therapist can help you undo deep muscle tension. A psycho-therapist will help you address and uncover the issues in your life that bring on bodily tensions. A yoga practice will bring your awareness keenly to your habitual form, and help you to see and feel how you carry your life in your body.

For more information or to schedule an appointment, please contact Donna at: